Like all people, Cambodians have their own norms of behaviour, style of conversations, and manners of interaction. Understanding certain cultural mentalities will make the transition toward working with the Khmer much easier. Below is a list of cultural do’s and don’ts. Lists such as this are far from definitive, and behaviours change depending on the circumstances; however it can be used as a general behavioural framework for your time in Cambodia.

THE TOP 10:

Confrontation is not well accepted by Khmers. They are more likely to avoid problematic people and situations, than try to change them. The root lies in a tendency to maintain the superficial harmony of things. It is better to walk away than to create conflict which might result in losing one’s temper. Placing a Khmer in a confrontational situation, placing blame, or being judgmental will result in the loss of respect or future avoidance.

Beckon others with the hand, palm downwards, fingers straight and waving rapidly. Don’t clap, point, snap fingers, or hiss. Beckoning with the palm up is thought of as aggressive, and done when fighting. Beckoning with one finger is sexually suggestive.

Criticism. Avoid it; however, if absolutely unavoidable balance it with praise or be indirect. This follows closely with keeping one's temper. It is more virtuous to patiently assist the person by guiding them, than criticising their work as wrong.

Discretion is admired as a sign of maturity; if you must do naughty things, do them in private.

Feet must be kept to yourself. Not on the desk and certainly not pointed at anybody. If someone is lying/ sitting and eating on the floor, do not step over them or their food. Walk around them.

Relax, take it easy, especially at the beginning of your stay. Take time to look, listen, learn ...then speak.

Satu is a greeting in which the palms are placed together while performing either a bow or a lowering of the head. Always satu monks, elderly people and social superiors. Do NOT satu servants, labourers, or anyone younger than yourself. The lower the head, the more respect shown. The person who is socially inferior (a younger person, an employee, etc.) initiates the satu. Whatever the satu received, reply with a lesser one. It is safe to satu your socially equals, colleagues, other workers, and others encountered in a professional setting. Be certain to initiate the satu for elders and monks. Do not be startled if a monk does not return the satu, they share social status with the king and Buddha.

Shoes come off at the door of all homes and at the main door of temple buildings.

Tempers must be kept. If you must lose it, lose it in private. Losing your temper is the easiest way to lose the respect and trust of the Khmers.

Touching between sexes is frowned upon. Even in the work place, don’t place your hand on a person’s shoulder or head to make your point. If you are a woman and possess some coordination it is much better to sit side-saddle when taking a motorcyle. However, don’t be shocked by touching between same sex individuals. Men holding hands, putting arms around each other in public does not carry the same connotations as in the west.

WHILE AT THE HOSPITAL:

Questions: Khmers will usually say "yes" to any question asked of them, even if they do not understand you. They are very accommodating, but this can back-fire. When working with some Khmers, the question “do you understand?” is inevitably going to be yes, but if you have any doubt that some and/or all of your request was not understood have them write it down or repeat back your message.

Group Instruction: Do not become confrontational when working with a group of Khmers. Singling out an individual for reprimand will only serve to lose their trust. It is much better to patiently take them aside and demonstrate how to do things correctly. Avoid correcting someone in front of their peers.

English: Though English is the language in the hospital, remember that there are different types of English begin spoken: American, British, Australian, Dutch, Japanese, etc. They may have difficulty understanding your English. Please speak slowly and concisely. If the person does not understand, try re-phrasing your sentence, replacing the larger words with simpler terms.

Aptitude: Do not appraise someone’s professional skills by their English skills. Be sure to observe their work as well as asking them questions. As people get to know you, they will feel comfortable speaking with you and asking questions.

Friendship: Cambodian’s like to have a close relationship. They express it when they like you. Do not be cold, or they may be offended.

Patience: Patience is a virtue that will carry you a long way. "Take time to cultivate and water your garden."

Teaching: Speak in simple terms. Using pictures is very helpful. Also, continually maintain eye contact so you can know when someone does not understand you. Ask them to explain what they have just learned, to be sure that they understand. It takes time and patience to supervise people's progress.

SOME MORE YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER:

Affection between the sexes should not be displayed in public. No holding hands or kissing.

Boasting is disliked. Do not compare your country and people with Cambodia and the Khmers.

Buddha images should be kept in a high place and treated with great respect. It is against the law to take or send them out of the country except under very special circumstances.

Dress your status. Women do not wear shorts or revealing clothing. Shorts are worn by children and tourists. While working, it is expected that one wears long pants or long skirts. At the hospital, doctors have blue uniforms and nurses have green ones.

Eating habits are flexible. Most people eat with a spoon and use a fork or chopsticks to load it. During ceremonies always eat after the monks. Inviting to eat is an everyday greeting, the normal reply is ‘eaten already’.

Flatter whenever possible, the Khmers love it.

Fun is the essential ingredient of anything worth doing. Enjoy sharing laughter as much as possible.

Generosity is the sign of an important person; don’t be stingy.

Gifts are to be opened in private.

Hair and Heads should not be touched. If you do so by accident, excuse yourself. Also, be careful not to pass things over another person’s head. In general, the head is considered most sacred and the feet most base.

Legs should not be crossed when sitting in the presence of monks or old persons. Sit with the legs underneath the body or to the side.

Lower the body a little when passing in front of, or between people.

Monks are the most important people in the country and must be treated with respect at all times. Touching of a monk or his robes by a woman is strictly taboo.

Names: Use a person’s first name, not the family name. Adults introduced for the first time or in a professional setting should be addressed as lok (male) or lok s’ray (female) unless a title is used. Informally, Bong (brother/sister) followed by the persons name can be used.

Pass objects with the right hand. Pass with two hands (Right hand holding the object, and left hand gently touching the object) if extra respect is required. When accepting these object, accept them with both hands. Women never pass directly to monks.

Paying is done after eating/drinking, not before; the inviter pays. If no clear invitation, the superior pays. 'Going Dutch' is very rare with the Khmer.

Pointing with fingers is acceptable for objects and animals, but not for people.

Speak gently and try not to raise your voice.

Smile and people will like you. A smile can be used to excuse small inconveniences, to thank for small services and to return the satu of children and servants.

Thank you, like 'please,' is expressed verbally much less frequently in Khmer; a smile is often enough.

Throwing any object is bad manners.